My favorite time at most funerals is the luncheon. The inherent tension and accumulated grief have started to subside – it is a time to kick back a bit and start smiling again.

The St. Wenceslaus Guild provides a great buffet lunch, featuring fried chicken and baked ham during most of the year, and herb baked tilapia and vegetable lasagna during Lent. Both lunches include several salads, fruit trays, roll baskets, and desserts: along with coffee and lemonade to wash it all down.

My kudos to the guild and any others who prepare the food, set the tables, and provide the clean up afterwards. Their hospitality is often overlooked and underappreciated. Kudos also to the leaders of the guild who coordinate the food purchases, cooking, and staffing – often on short notice and with sketchy details as to the size of the funeral.

As to the above menu, I have always been partial to the spiral hams that Bakers sells (versus the more processed hams often served at funerals). If anyone in the family wants to take this ball and run with it – great; if not, no big deal as I won’t be eating.

If the family wants to supplement the menu, I suggest that some of my favorites be considered (e.g., Pepsi Zero, M&M Peanuts, salted cashews). I may have died early because of these treats – but they tasted so gooood. If my funeral is during the growing season, garden tomatoes, cucumbers, and or asparagus might be a nice touch – and a way to get rid of any garden surplus.

Depending on when I die, the luncheon may be served in different settings. 

The current social hall, Cain Hall (named after the building’s founding priest, Father James Cain) was the church’s former sanctuary. When the sanctuary was designed to be a sanctuary, the floor was sloped to facilitate the sight lines from the pews to the altar. When the pews were replaced by tables the slopes became a problem (e.g., extremely round peas might roll off your plate). Thus, none of the salads served have extremely round peas. 

All this to note that if I die soon the luncheon will probably be served in the current “sloped” hall. But St. Wenceslaus recently completed a capital campaign and has plans to remodel Cain Hall. Thus, if I die in a few years, the remodeled hall should have flat floors and peas may be served. If I die sometime during construction, I am not sure where the luncheon will be served – but I trust that someone will figure it out.

Lunch in lieu of a Vigel

Since I am choosing not to have a vigil, I am hoping that the luncheon will provide an opportunity for the family to meet with those people who might have otherwise attended the vigil. Most vigils that I have attended, especially those held at funeral homes, often provide an opportunity for the family to display pictures, slides, and memorabilia – that help the mourners both grieve and celebrate the life of the deceased and his or her survivors. Towards that end, I offer these suggestions.

Memorial Video: Per the funeral guide, “Although St. Wenceslaus does not create memorial videos, we welcome their use during visitations and luncheons. Many mortuaries will create memorial videos as part of their services. We ask that videos be formatted in the MP4 format and brought to Church on a USB stick.” Sounds like a kind of a cool idea, especially if videos covered the deceased’s lifespan. Since, most of my videos, are here-and-there on different people’s smartphones – and most of those videos are relatively current; I suggest that we pass on this opportunity.

Memorial Slideshow: Per the funeral guide, “slideshows should be in PowerPoint or Google Slides and brought on a USB stick.” I am of the “slideshow generation” and am more receptive to a brief slideshow (maybe 60 slides over 5 minutes). I like my funeral slideshows in some kind of genealogical order with captions noting dates, occasions, and names. It is my intent to put together a collection of such photographs for this occasion. I will work with my son to get them saved on the appropriate USB stick. If I don’t get around to it, sorry; maybe just do the photograph albums (below).

Photograph Albums: I am a notorious collector of photographs and photo albums. In addition to my old-style book-like albums and photo-tray albums, I am currently working on Binder #60, where the 1-1/2 – 2” binders contain hundreds of pictures each. I am very finnicky about people willy-nilly removing photographs from my albums, so for the short term, while my ashes are still warm, please refrain from doing that.

Anyway, my suggestion is to set up a table to place the following albums, along with our wedding album from 1981 – the professional one that my brother-in-law, Roger, created.

Album 50, Italy: This album contains pictures taken during our November 2019 trip, with Father Tom Bauwens, to Venice, Padua, Florence, Assisi, and Rome. Many of the St. Wenceslaus folks are pictured. The last third of the album also has some pictures of all the kids, all the grandkids, and my sister (with Jennifer Lopez’s legs).

Album 43, Holy Land: This album contains pictures taken during our February 2017 trip, with Father Tom Bauwens to the Holy Land. Pictures of the entire group from St. Wenceslaus are in the front and towards the back of the album.

Albums 37 and 38, Ireland: These albums contain pictures taken during our September 2015 trip, with Father Tom Bauwens, to Ireland. The entire St. Wenceslaus group (including Father Tom and Deacon Brad Schaefer) are pictured. These albums also have pictures of all our kids and granddaughters (at that time). Album 37 includes pictures from Aunt Marie’s (early) 100th birthday celebration in Oregon; Album 38 includes pictures from Grace Oshima’s (Robert’s sister-in-law) wedding in Chicagoland. 

My Books: Lastly, I would suggest that another table be set up to display copies of the ten books that I have written, along with some of my business cards (to get rid of them). I have struggled to sell my books during my life – maybe I will be more successful after my death. Don’t sell any books during the funeral (no money changers in the Temple) but it is okay (by me) to note my websites: robertcburdett.com and amazon.com/author/bobbyburdett. 

Note: If possible, please consider also displaying the above “visuals” in the vestibule of the day chapel before the start of the memorial service.

Part 11 Tomorrow: Farewell and End